Hi all! I have gathered some jokes from all over the web, just for you! =D. hope you enjoy
You might hear of some of them before…
Here it goes. ..
Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing.
Economics is the painful elaboration of the obvious.
An economist is someone who doesn't know what he's talking about - and make you feel it's your fault.
Q. What do economists and computers have in common ?? A. You need to punch information into both of them.
Two men are flying in a captive balloon. The wind is ugly and they come away from their course and they have no idea where they are. So they go down to 20 m above ground and ask a passing wanderer. "Could you tell us where we are?"
"You are in a balloon."
So the one pilot to the other:
"The answer is perfectly right and absolutely useless. The man must be an economist"
"Then you must be businessmen", answers the man.
"That's right! How did you know?"
"You have such a good view from where you are and yet you don't know where you are!"
Experienced economist and not so experienced economist are walking down the road. They get across shit lying on the asphalt.
Experienced economist: "If you eat it I'll give you $20,000!" Not so experienced economist runs his optimization problem and figures out he's better off eating it so he does and collects money. Continuing along the same road they almost step into yet another shit. Not so experienced economist: "Now, if YOU eat this shit I'll give YOU $20,000." After evaluating the proposal experienced economist eats shit getting the money. They go on. Not so experienced economist starts thinking: "Listen, we both have the same amount of money we had before, but we both ate shit. I don't see us being better off." Experienced economist: "Well, that's true, but you overlooked the fact that we've been just involved in $40,000 of trade."
A woman hears from her doctor that she has only half a year to live. The doctor advises her to marry an economist and to live in South Dakota. The woman asks: will this cure my illness? Answer of the doctor: No, but the half year will seem pretty long.
An elderly economics professor is standing at the shallow end of the campus pool. A Coed is standing at the deep end taking pictures. She suddenly drops the camera into the pool. Then she motions for the professor to come to her. He goes and she asks him to retrieve the camera. He agrees and dives in and retrieve its.
Upon returning he says to her, "Why did you ask me to retrieve the camera when there were many younger and more athletic males closer to her?" She replied, "Professor you seem to forget that I'm in your Econ I class, and I don't know anyone who can go down deeper, stay down longer and come up drier than you."
Three economists and three mathematicians were going for a trip by train. Before the journey, the mathematicians bought 3 tickets but economists only bought one. The mathematicians were glad their stupid colleagues were going to pay a fine. However, when the conductor was approaching their compartment, all three economists went to the nearest toilet. The conductor, noticing that somebody was in the toilet, knocked on the door. In reply he saw a hand with one ticket. He checked it and the economists saved 2/3 of the ticket price. The next day, the mathematicians decided to use the same strategy- they bought only one ticket, but economists did not buy tickets at all! When the mathematicians saw the conductor, they hid in the toilet, and when they heard knocking they handed in the ticket. They did not get it back. Why? The economists took it and went to the other toilet.
There is hell lot more out there! Just picked a few… If you wan more feel free to contact me. –timothy
